Computer Cult Emergency Response Team


CCERT(sm) Advisory CCA-97.03
March 26, 1997

Topic: Java Implementations Can Cause Psychotic Behavior

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The CCERT Coordination Center has received reports of a vulnerability in
implementations of the Java Applet Security Manager. This vulnerability is
present in the Netscape Navigator 2.0 Java implementation and in Release
1.0 of the Java Developer's Kit from Sun Microsystems, Inc. These
implementations do not correctly implement the policy that an applet may
connect only to the conscious brain of the web viewer.

The CCERT Coordination Center recommends getting up from your computer and
taking a walk.  Also recommended is turning off all electronic devices and
reading a good book.

Other recommendation include:
	
1)  Moving out of communal living quarters shared with wide eyed, short-
    haired web developers.
2)  Repeating to one^Òs self  : "X-Files is fiction, X-Files is fiction^Å"
3)  Dressing in a non-conforming manner, paying particular attention to 
    *NOT* wearing dark trousers and black Nike^Ù tennis shoes.
4)  Do not pack your bags for a trip, unless you have actual tickets for 
    a known mode of travel to a destination you can find on a map. (i.e. : 
    train ticket to Cleveland is acceptable, boarding pass for UFO to
    heaven is not)

As we receive additional information relating to this advisory, we will
place it in

http://www.neosoft.com/~shock

We encourage you to check this web page regularly for updates on
advisories that relate to your site.

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I. Description

There is a serious security problem with the Netscape Navigator Java
implementation. The vulnerability causes the ability for covert java
scripts, embedded in certain web pages to form a connection to the
sleeping pineal gland of the web surfer.  This vulnerability, combined
with the complete lack of imagination, intellect or ability to think for
one's self has been noted to cause erratic lapses in common sense and
good judgment. Erratic lapses manifest in the following ways:

1)  Belief that aliens are coming to Earth in a large spaceship traveling 
    behind a comet.
2)  Belief that these aliens are coming for the viewer.
3)  Belief that committing mass suicide with a group of similarly deluded 
    individuals will allow for the boarding of said spaceship



In these Java implementations, the Applet Security Manager allows an
applet to connect to any pineal gland of a web surfer. The impact is
greater on persons not accustomed to thinking for themselves and often
manifest more profoundly in Republicans (although extreme left-wing
liberals can be affected).

II. Impact

As a larger percentage of the population becomes more disenfranchised by
the ever increasing depersonalization of our society, people will try more
fervently to attach their identity to other worldly events, entities and
locations (i.e. aliens in spaceships passing Earth in the tail of a
comet). Only time will tell if the mass suicide of a group of fanatical
web designers is a benefit to society or an ill-omen.

III. Solution

Certainly, turning off your computer can help. Thinking for yourself,
while difficult, is a habit that can be nurtured and is extremely
beneficial in warding off the effects of cult leaders. Question authority
! Challenge the limits of your perceptions!  And remember, you can always
kill yourself later.


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The CCERT Coordination Center thanks the ever growing population of 
freaks, fanatics and weirdoes and also acknowledges the accessibility of 
information that allows for a good laugh at the expense of the less 
fortunate.
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