From owner-pilot-unix@hcirisc.cs.binghamton.edu Thu Aug 31 10:57:25 2000 Return-path: Envelope-to: scottm@octaldream.com Delivery-date: Thu, 31 Aug 2000 10:57:25 -0400 Received: from hcirisc.cs.binghamton.edu ([128.226.123.32]) by moek.pir.net with esmtp (Exim) id 13UVmO-0004iY-00 for scottm@octaldream.com; Thu, 31 Aug 2000 10:57:24 -0400 Received: (from root@localhost) by hcirisc.cs.binghamton.edu (8.9.3/8.9.3) id OAA04358 for pilot-unix-outgoing; Thu, 31 Aug 2000 14:37:23 GMT Date: Thu, 31 Aug 2000 10:32:10 -0400 (EDT) From: Justin Osborn To: Palm Unix List Subject: [Pilot-Unix] prc-tools story Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Sender: owner-pilot-unix@hcirisc.cs.binghamton.edu Precedence: bulk Reply-To: pilot-unix@hcirisc.cs.binghamton.edu Status: RO Content-Length: 4978 Lines: 107 Having a little chunk of time on my hands, I decided to write the story (more or less accurately) of prc-tools in recent times. I just hope this long an email doesn't crash Sokolov's VAX. :-) Episode 1: A New Tool *intro from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly* Sweat dripped from Agent Michael Sokolov's brow. It was a hot Texas day, so hot that his doorknob had begun to melt. Actually, the thermometer outside the Harhan Engineering Laboratory read 80 degrees, but it must of been 20 degrees hotter in Sokolov's office. Not to mention the various electro-magnetic fields propogated by his legacy equipment. It's a pain in the summer, thought Sokolov, but it's nice to warm your hands by the VAX in winter. Sokolov's terminal blipped. It was mail, and not just any mail. Sokolov perused the message being presented to him on the 12 inch monochrome screen. "Help," the message read, "I'm trying to use prc-tools 2.0 on my PDP-7 with Unix Version 1 and for some reason, it just won't compile!" Sokolov didn't have to look twice at the message presented to him in green and black. prc-tools 2.0 was a myth, an urban legend of an evil devlopment toolchain. So evil was this toolchain that it's developer embraced new platforms like Linux. Rumor had it that this toolchain would not work with a standard K&R C compiler! (and no, it wasn't written in PDP-11 assembly either). This code was so evil, it was like...like Darth Vader's lightsaber. Sokolov knew deep down who was behind this. It was the evil Marshall, Sokolov's nemesis. Marshall worked for a large corporation, where for his work he received--Sokolov shuddered as he thought about it--MONEY. Sokolov donned his Jedi^H^H^H^H robe, grabbed a prc-tool, climbed aboard his trusty steed Bit and rode off to the West. Sokolov arrived in Santa Clara and was immediately surprised by the widespread use of automobiles. Bit stamped impatiently. "Come on Bit!" Sokolov cried, "we've got a job to do!" Sokolov rode up to the programmer's house and tied Bit to the mailbox. He could smell the scent of evil in the air. He snuck up to house and, keeping surprise on his side, broke through the door and crashed into the house. Marshall stood over the programmer who was tapping at the keyboard. "Sokolov!" he said, "what are you doing here, why are you wearing that, and why are your spurs on backward?" "Good questions, all," Sokolov replied smoothly. Hmmm, Bit had been galloping a little bit slower than usual..."But what I'd like to know is, why are *you* here?" "My programmer friend here was having trouble using prc-tools 2.0. Since he is in the neighborhood, I decided to stop by and help." "So this evil code does exist?" Sokolov questioned, fearing the worst. "Yes it does," replied Marshall, and it's running fine on his new RedHat Linux PC." Sokolov shuddered at the word Linux and even more intensely than normal since it was prefaced by RedHat. Not only had Marshall converted another user to the Dark Side (TM), but the code had been forked and their was a new evil tool in Marshall's grasp. "You have gone wrong Marshall," he accused, "you have been led astray by new technologies and are denying your roots." "You're stuck in the past," quipped Marshall, "my prc-tool 2.0 can take your 0.5 anyday," he finished, drawing his prc-tool. "You are sadly mistaken," replied Sokolov, "for I have forged a new prc-tool, 0.6, which is greater than your evil technology," Sokolov said confidently, brandishing his prc-tool. It was somewhat plain and looked much like 0.5 with a few modifications. Marshall attacked Sokolov, and Sokolov blocked with his prc-tool. They struck and parried, blocked and struck again. The room was alive with light from their flames. "Come on Sokolov," urged Marshall, "join me and start living in the 21st century." "I'll never join you!" shouted Sokolov, "but if you strike me down, I will grow more powerful than you can imagine," he said confidently, bearing a resemblance to Alec Guiness. The two programmers fought and fought, but clearly Marshall's prc-tool was no match for Sokolov's, his being in beta. Finally Marshall overpowered Sokolov and sliced through him. Sokolov's body disappeared and his prc-tool fell on top of his empty robe. Sokolov's apparition sat (or more accurately, hovered) before his terminal, plotting a new scheme, the heat from his legacy hardware no longer bothering him. He began to code the tool that would allow him to get even with Marshall. A piece of code so good that it would destroy prc-tools for ever. He would call it the IETF Palm GNU Programming Environment... Hopefully, not to be continued. Justin Osborn "what if there's someone up there? Montgomery Blair HS shrugs it off with a Class of '01 'don't know, don't care' josborn@mbhs.edu hopes to God he doesn't exist mbhs.edu/~josborn but ignorance here is less than bliss" mbhs.edu/activities/mblug -The Newsboys